Dreams...

I wrote about last night's dreams in the xkcd forums in the 'What were your dreams last night?' thread.

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?p=485897#p485897

Off to have more dreams!

Random things...

That new post I started in the xkcd forums, the one about argument styles, seems to be getting a bit of action. I'm not a very good arguer myself, tending to avoid arguments and simply give explanations and listen to other people's reasons, but it's interesting discussing the theory. Of course, there has been a little bit of sparring going on, especially between two of them (who have been sparring elsewhere). Reading it this morning made me a little frustrated, as I knew they would never agree, and it wasn't helping me understand what was going on. I ended up asking for clarification and going out.

Smith doesn't seem to be on MSN today; neither does the other guy at his work who I'm in contact with. Wonder what's going on there. Anyway, I normally tell Smith what I've been doing during the day, because it's lonely here and I like him to know if I've been achieving things, or if I need pushing (he's good at pushing when I ask him to). I might just write it here instead, along with all the other stuff I've been meaning to write.

Today Smith and I went for our walk twice around the block. I set the pace, and I didn't go too hard. Was quite nice outside, cool and overcast with a small breeze. We mused on various inconsequential things as we walked. Was fun. When we came back we had a shower, and breakfast, and Smith left for work.

I did manage to do one household chore today: I finished filling the dishwasher and put it on. We now have dishes for tonight. Don't know what I want in terms of food, though.

After reading the forums for a while, and getting frustrated at the arguments there, I figured it was time to take a break. It was 11.30 by then, and I figured it was time to set off for yoga class at the fitness club - the first I'd been to there.

Yoga class was interesting. Putting your body through lots of positions, with interesting names for some of them, and trying to figure out what to do by watching everybody else. I seem to have developed some stability and strength over the past couple of months of training - in my lower body rather than my upper body, my upper arms in particular are still quite weak. Anyway, for me a lot of the positions just required some concentration, even though I'd never done them before.

My general impression was a feeling that my body had been worked. No spiritual aspect (I didn't even get the calm, my mind was still analysing at the end when we were resting), no particular strengthening exercises, nothing focused like I get with my trainer, no aerobic work. Not that much repetition either, so no real chance to practise anything. Just an overall stretch-every-muscle/work-every-muscle at least once. I was so thirsty at the end of it, though, from breathing hard. There hadn't been a break. I guess I might go again for the exercise, although I don't really see much point other than that.

Afterwards I headed for the hospital, and ate the cafeteria lunch they have there. It's reasonable stuff - I've eaten a lot worse when it comes to hospital food. Good, clean textures and tastes, the right amount of salt etc, even though it's pretty simple food. Today it was ricotta cannelloni with choice of vegetables (I got peas, pumpkin and mash). And, since I had made it out of the house and gone to yoga class AND eaten lunch, I treated myself to a Weis bar. (Ice cream!)

I really should eat lunch every day, it's just hard to get the motivation to make it. When I'm working, I always get lunch from the cafeteria - it's only $6.50 for staff, and there's *just* enough variety during the week to keep it interesting. There's also choice each day, but I stay away from the 'broiled meat in gravy' tray (today's was lamb) or the 'miscellaneous in curry' tray, and I prefer cooked vegies to chips. (The chips there are okay, though.) At home, I have a generally poorer diet. If I'm really hungry and motivated enough, I might make myself some raisin toast, or a sandwich if there's normal bread in the house (rare), but that's not often.

I did one more thing today while I was out - I informed the admin lady at my work about my improving health status and the Medical Board's decision to continue my registration as-is. (More on that later.) I've been trying to get ahold of her for ages, whenever I call she's busy, and she never has time to see me. Yesterday when I called up, I got put straight through to her! And she told me she didn't have a term for me yet, and she asked me to tell her what the Medical Board had said, to show her their report - and I realised I hadn't told her any of what had been happening so I promised her an email. Today at hospital I handed her the report to photocopy, and then I wrote her an email with all the details about my health, how I'm ready to go back to work and feeling so much better now. (She didn't have time for an actual meeting - it's Orientation Week for some of the staff so she's probably frantic.) And she told me I looked well. :) *crosses fingers* maybe I can go back to work soon!

When I left it was raining lightly, and then it started raining more heavily. And my umbrella was back at home, sitting in the bath! Luckily, I had a towel with me, because I thought I might need it in yoga class (you need a towel in Pilates class, apparently. And I often get sweat pouring off me in my training sessions). So I hid under my towel on the way to the train station, and on the way from the train back home. It's funny, as I left the house this morning I was carrying it over my arm, thinking 'Hey, Douglas Adams! Look, I've got my towel with me!' Hehe. Now all I have to do is wait for it to grow mould that Smith and I can use as sustenance if we ever have to evacuate Earth in a hurry. :P

Anyway, that's my day so far. I think that after all that, I deserve a nap! Besides which, Smith's probably already left work by now.

Oh, before I go, here's another thing I wrote on the xkcd forums, encouraging a young programmer who dreads the idea of corporate life, and is thinking about fulfilling careers (like medicine). http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=17155

Enjoy!

the angel Jean

Before I sleep...

I will shamelessly link a thread I have started in the xkcd forums, where I have been having an interesting discussion.

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=17195&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

I'm going to the gym at 7am tomorrow, though, so I'll sleep now!

the angel Jean

I've been debating...

whether I should shamelessly re-post my own writing from other areas. Specifically comments I've made in response to forum posts. But I've decided that it's okay, because linking stuff you find interesting is legitimate blogging, right? So here's some of what I've written on xkcd forums in the last couple of days. And besides, after I copy it here, I might have more to say.

Some beautiful pictures of lacelike paper snowflakes constructed by somebody called miles01110 (link to profile is behind their name there.)


I found them in a thread on xkcd forums, which can be found at http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=16981
The post in the xkcd forums shows the construction for the second one I've shown here, and the pictures are much better - go look!

I've been wanting to know how to make curves interact like that for a while, as I'm trying to design lace of my own ... miles01110 makes it look so simple, you just touch the curves to each other. Now I'll have to go and try it myself.

I also posted to a couple of other places in the xkcd forums, but I think I'll dedicate them posts of their own. But if anyone reading this is a nerd, a geek or into science, language or romance, go read xkcd. And the forums.

the angel Jean

Well, I did say I'm interested in everything...

Since I've been moping for a couple of days, I made a list this morning of all the things I could do to occupy my time. Here it is:

When I'm bored...

Clean house

Super Mario Galaxy!

Write about PuTTY commands

LOTRO (although I'm pretty much over that)
Make shawl

Meditate

Read

Text Tie

Arm exercises
Chinese lessons (I'm writing lessons for Tie)

Email Borkn

EAT

Tidy my room

Cook

STRETCH

Email mum

Adjust my posture

Write blog

Watch David Attenborough DVDs

Creative writing

Go out

Email a friend

Finish Christmas cards

Go to the post office

Design project

Pixel Puzzles

Make lace

Yeah, I'll never be bored again. Just unmotivated. :P

I did the washing, time to go stretch and meditate for a little while. (Haven't done that in ages.)

Hello....

Well, I've been moping around all day, so I figured I might as well write something.

It's actually been a pretty busy couple of weeks. There's plenty to write about, so I'll just put down whatever comes into my head.

Yesterday was my mum's birthday. She, my sister and I went out for lunch in a shopping centre nearby. There's a restaurant on the ground floor, but oddly enough I've never really noticed it; it's open for lunch and morning/afternoon tea. Maybe it's because at lunch time we're usually at some kind of food court, eating take-away.

Anyway, when we arrived it was packed, which is why we noticed it. We took a look and decided there were quite a few items on the menu that looked interesting - almost too many to choose from! The food turned out to be very tasty - I had an asparagus and corn fritter with smoked salmon, mustard and cream on top, with salad greens. My mum and my sister liked their choices as well, we'll definitely go there again!

We rounded out the afternoon with some window-shopping - my mum bought a couple of nice tops at Country Road for herself. I might have mentioned that I hate shopping, but my sister has good taste, and we didn't spend too long. It was a pretty good way to spend the day.

I was pretty tired at the end of the day, and needed a nap. I'd gone to the fitness club in the morning, walking there and back (25 minutes each way), and then when I went out with my mum and sister, I was wearing slingbacks with two-inch stiletto heels (my first ever pair) and concentrating on standing and sitting straight. My posture is normally pretty bad, I slouch something horrible, so I've been working on it for a couple of months. It still takes some concentration, especially sitting down, but I'm getting there.

The fitness session was pretty good, actually. I have a personal trainer - an expensive luxury, but it's the only way to motivate me to get to the club at the moment. Luckily for me he specialises in posture and core stability, plus he's working with me to improve my stamina. It's really helped - after the first few weeks I really felt like a normal person again. The past couple of days I've needed a nap in the afternoon again, though. Can't go back to work with energy levels this low :(

And today ... I haven't really done anything much. After much nagging Smith to get more exercise, he's decided to go for a walk every morning before his shower. I went with him today, not yesterday as I had to get ready for gym. Went round one of the big blocks here at a decent pace, so we were good and sweaty afterwards. Next week we're going to go round that block twice each morning, and maybe soon we'll be crossing under the train line to the places with the nice gardens.

I had to have a shower afterwards, though. I normally like to shower in the evening, so that I can go to bed clean, and be ready to get dressed when I get out of bed. There was no help for it this morning, though, I felt manky. Maybe I'll have to switch to morning showers like Smith. With the water restrictions in Sydney, I can't do both.

I had breakfast and worked on a small project I'm doing for an hour or two, but after that I had to sleep. And then I had nightmares, to the point where I was moaning when I woke up. I guess there's a few reasons I'm feeling a bit down today, but I wasn't expecting that. Normally I only get nightmares when I'm depressed. Ahh well.

Time to keep myself occupied until Smith gets home. He's not coming back for dinner tonight, they're having a bug-fixing competition at work, and providing dinner! They're giving out some pretty good prizes, too. There's a draw for a $300 voucher for 'non-physical goods' - which I assume means computer games or software. They get points for each bug they fix, and every 10 points gets you a ticket in the draw - Smith had earned himself 55 points last I heard, so he'll get at least 5 tickets. Also, if you find the cause of their most urgent bug, there's a $200 voucher on the line. If any team gets 500 points, they all get to go out to the movies. Finally, there's an ipod touch for whoever impresses the boss the most. It all sounds pretty cool. Smith's great at finding and fixing bugs, so I think he'll get a prize! But I have to have dinner by myself.

Hmm, time to take a short break, and then maybe I'll write down all the things that have been bugging me.

Cya!

the angel Jean

Happy New Year everyone!

Best wishes to you all for 2008!

It's been a hectic few days, and I'm not really in the habit of writing down everything yet. I've never been really good at keeping a journal. Not that I don't have anything good to say about things that have happened, just getting the motivation is the hard part.

Last night was New Year's Eve Sydney time, and as usual, we went down to the waterfront to watch the fireworks on the harbour. It seems to be a tradition in Smith's family, we've been for several years. This year, as well as Smith's mother, brother and his brother's fiance (I call her my sister for short, that's what we'll be in seven months! but here I'll refer to her as Tie) they brought one of their friends, who was pretty cool. Smith, his brother and the friend (I don't know how to spell her name, and haven't asked what to call her here) went down to the harbourside to reserve a spot at midday, while Tie and I went shopping for food supplies to tide us over. Smith's mum had to pack for a trip to Melbourne so she joined us later in the afternoon.

Shopping with Tie was fun, as always. I seem not to have inherited any fashion sense, but I'm surrounded by people who do have it - my dad, my real sister, as well as Tie and Smith's mum. I also generally hate shopping, but it's nice to have a guide who knows what she likes and how to really look around. Yesterday afternoon after buying salad, vegetarian luncheon meat and other goodies, and insect repellent and sunscreen, we shopped for sunhats. It was interestingly hard to find them. We thought we'd see them in the dollar stores, and sometimes they have them in pharmacies, but there was no luck there. Finally we found a bunch of them in Sportsgirl. Tie, Smith's brother and I wore our white sunhats all day!

Then it was down to the harbourside for the long wait 'til the midnight fireworks. We had a sunshelter tent set up, with folding chairs inside and out, and sat reading and chatting all afternoon and evening.

Although the fireworks were beautiful, I really need a year's break at least between such occasions. I'm naturally a quiet and introverted person, and I don't enjoy crowds or noise. While initially we had a relatively large space to ourselves, after a while the crowding was very tight, and there was alcohol flowing freely and contributing to the noise. After the nine o'clock fireworks there were even more people arriving, to the point where there were people standing directly behind my folding chair with their knees touching my back - for two hours while waiting for the midnight fireworks. And this is despite the fact that we had chosen a position with our backs to the path.

I sorely wanted to tell them to just go away. I wanted to get away from the noise and the crowding ... and the smells. The scent of tobacco is pleasant for a minute or so (I grew up a smoker's child, so I'm slightly used to it) but after a while it hurts; the additional odours of alcohol, the diesel engines on the boats, perspiration, spiced food, crushed greenery and magnesium sparklers all worsened the headache. Come there on a normal day and all you can smell is saltwater (and smog, I guess) - I guess that's the level of scent I'm used to, and too much is just overwhelming. Even the perfume section of a department store is difficult for me.

It didn't help that I was reading a book called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron. It describes people who find subtle things more stimulating than others, to the point where they easily become distressed by situations they find overly arousing. It's been a very interesting book, but one I have to read in sections before I can really take it in, as it requires a lot of thought.

My personal jury is still out on whether I belong to the 20% of people you can categorise as Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs). I picked up the book because I've often experienced the kind of distress you get when too much is happening, and there are so many times I've been too frazzled by stress to function or even sleep. But the descriptions of the trait are very detailed and don't exactly match me, so I'm still thinking about it. I'll probably write a little more about it later on.

Even the sensitivity to scent that I've just described may be normal. Our sense of smell is very closely linked to the emotional centre, after all. I guess most people can walk through the perfume section of a department store without their stomach churning, though.

It got to the point where I quietly asked Smith if we could skip the occasion next year. I love Smith's family and Tie, and I'm sure they will want to come again, and they can stay in our apartment as they did last night, but I'm not sure it's worth it for me to go with them next time. The fireworks were indeed beautiful, as they always are, but I've seen fireworks on the harbour many times before. I guess we'll see next year.

The whole occasion brings to mind one of my early memories. My family live near Manly, and one evening when I was about five we went to what must have been a Sea Eagles game at Brookvale. Anyway, the field and the spectator area were actually pretty small in those days (still are, I hear), and it was very crowded.

Before the game started there were fireworks. Now, even then I had always loved to watch fireworks on television, especially on New Year's Eve. We had also taken trips up to the nearest high lookout to watch the harbour fireworks from a distance (several miles). But this was the first time I'd experienced fireworks in person. I screamed at the noise of the explosions, and bawled at the crowds, and made such a fuss that my dad had to take me right out of the park. I don't remember if we even got to watch the game, I seem to remember we didn't. (I must have been a real brat.)

I am still a Sea Eagles fan, although not a real football follower, and I have always remembered that occasion with regret. But it's things like that, that make me wonder if I'm one of these HSPs. I guess I'll read more and we shall see.