Our anniversary

Well, I was going to write something interesting today. But I'm too tired! I woke up at 3am and started doing stuff rather than going back to sleep. And I've had two naps today, but it hasn't helped enough.

So here's something I prepared earlier.

It was Smith and my anniversary of the first time we went out, on January 24th. I wrote him a card.

[front of card]

24th January, 2008

"Dear Smith,

Well.

It had to happen sometime. After eight years, your brainwashing has finally worn off [in-joke]. Finally, I see things as they really are. I'm kicking myself now, I really am. How could I have thought I loved you?

[inside card, left-hand side]

I mean, all you ever did for me was
share my interest in Physics,
share my love of Terry Pratchett [author of the Discworld series],
make interesting conversation with me,

[continued on a pasted-in loooonnnng strip of paper, folded]
share in-jokes with me, make me laugh, bounce ideas off me, invent new words for me, look at me every day, tell me you loved me in a wonderfully cryptic and creative way, decide to live where you wanted to, send me novel-length emails, tell me your innermost secrets, hopes and dreams, share most of my values and tolerate the rest, feel protective of me, consider my comfort, introduce me to online life, be nice to my family, kiss me silly, cuddle me happy, ask me to marry you, consent when I wanted to wait, give me unwrapped books, lend me your library, share bus trips home with me, be nice to my friends, fit in with my social life, accommodate my study and my timeline, provide me with a safe haven, give me your old computer, download games for me, share your home with me, accept the ring I bought, share your family with me, hold me when I needed you, wait up for me in the lab, miss me when I was away, talk about my family with me, support me through my first job, distract me from my studies, decide what you really wanted to do, move out with me, buy household goods with me, buy furniture with me, make a life for me, enjoy my cooking, buy me a ring, marry me on the MUD [imaginary], wear my ring, support me financially, endure my clinical placements, cook when I was too tired, cuddle me when I was sad, watch TV with me, kill a zillion cockroaches, pay my HECS [Uni fees], take me out to dinner, visit my family with me, tell me about your job, make me smile, take me to concerts, find a job you like, indulge my MUD addiction, sleep by my side, visit me on rural terms, help me take my medicine, support me through my exams, talk about life with me, pick a beautiful new apartment, wash up when I need to cook, buy fun jigsaw puzzles, hold me on the train, help me get out of bed, dress me for class, make sure I eat, change your work hours for me, remind me to take my medicine, take me to the doctor's, hold me when I cried, kiss me til I smiled, make sure I did paperwork, analyse my chances of getting the job I wanted, let me live away when I had to, look good in a suit, imitate HEX [from Discworld] for me, teach me to code, marry me on a beautiful day, plan a wonderful honeymoon, drive us all around New Zealand, take me bird-watching, slide down a glacier with me, surprise me with puzzles, go ballooning with me, fly on a wire, endure my horrible hours, go dancing with me, take me to the theatre, visit me at work, talk me down out of the building, make new friends and old with me, cuddle me when I made mistakes, feed me dinner when I couldn't move, cook dinner when I could, clean the house, take me skiing, push me to move when I was home alone, talk me through things on the phone, stroke my hair when I was sleepy, make me get out of the house, watch my mood for me, help my tidy my room, vacuum the house, let me have friends over, endure my bad habits,
let me know when you were irritated, guilt-trip me into good behaviour, let me buy anything I wanted, share fantastic and whimsical ideas with me, talk with me at nights, walk with me in the mornings, never show a hint of jealousy, while at the same time being perfectly possessive,

[on the card again, still left-hand side]
love me with all your heart, inspire me to be a better person, and generally make me the happiest woman in the world.

[inside card, right-hand side]
I mean, DUH! I should have realised that a man who couldn't bend the universe to my every wish [Another in-joke] would try and make up for it in other ways. And now, it's been eight years, when all along I could have been out there, looking for the man who could...

Oh, what? I actually got myself married to you?
Uh oh...
this complicates things.
let me think now...

Well, before I go on my way, I guess that to be fair, I should try and repay all that ... So I think I'll stick around for a while longer.

And you're good company, I'll give you that.

And besides, if anyone's going to bend the universe to my every wish, isn't it going to be you?

And maybe...

[back of card]
maybe I really am a little bit in love with you after all.

[Illustration: small hearts drift into big hearts forming a thundercloud, raining into a blue puddle washing away to one side.]


*brain slowly melts, and washes clean*

I see the truth ...
I love you with every subatomic particle of my being...
and I always will.

Jean"